7 Sabbath Tips from 15 Years of Practice

I started practicing Sabbath as a college student 15 years ago, I’m still practicing it now as a married father of three, and I’m ready to share the best advice I’ve picked up over the years with you.

In a recent interview with former senator Ben Sasse, who is dying of Stage-4 pancreatic cancer in his fifties, he was asked, “Is there advice that you would give to someone who is the Ben Sasse father of three at age 40 or age 35, when the kids are young and everything’s stressful and chaotic? In light of where you are now?”

I couldn’t believe what he said in response:

Happy to go fire hose on this one.

No. 1, honor the Sabbath and keep it holy. Man, I wish I’d treated the Lord’s Day differently over the course of my life. I’ve always known it, believed in it and thought: Maybe next week we’ll get better.

We’ve been at Sunday worship every morning forever, but man, am I tempted by 12:45 or 1:30 in the afternoon to get back to work or, to an addictive level, work about the N.F.L.

Boy, I would treat Sabbaths differently — and especially digital intrusions into the Sabbath.

Of all the things he could have said, he emphasized getting your rhythms of rest and work figured out—in other words, practicing a Sabbath.

Right now, we’re in a moment when practicing a Sabbath is growing in popularity. There’s been lots written on the basic theology of Sabbath and lots of data published supporting the practice as good for your overall productivity and quality of life. Yes, as Jon Tyson recently pointed out, there’s been some over-correction around work and rest in the younger generations, but it’s still an essential part of a good basic rhythm of the life you’re made for.

Sabbath might be old news to some of you, but that language might be new to others of you and you might be wondering what it’s all about. The practice of Sabbath goes back to Genesis 1-2 and Exodus 20 in the Bible. With those texts in mind, Peter Scazerro defines it this way: “Biblical Sabbath is a twenty-four-hour block of time in which we stop work, enjoy rest, practice delight, and contemplate God.”¹ Or, in the memorable phrasing of Eugene Peterson that my family likes to use, it’s simply a day to play and pray.²

I realized recently that I’ve been practicing a Sabbath relatively consistently since I was a college student almost fifteen years ago when I first learned about it. We kept it up as we got married and, later, as we started having kids. Now, almost fifteen years into it, I’m ready to share seven best practices that can help you get started (including my secret sourdough Google Doc), seven resources for going deeper, and a final word about why sabbath won’t save you.

7 Best Practices for Sabbath

Listen to me now: These are not hard-and-fast rules. These seven best practices are nothing more than wisdom that I’ve picked up over the years. Take what’s helpful and leave the rest. As Jesus famously said, “The Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath. So then, the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27-28).

1) Lock a 24-hour sabbath in your calendar and throw away the key.

I’ve always heard, “The first person to your calendar wins.” That’s either going to be you or it’s going to be someone else. As A.J. Swoboda writes in Subversive Sabbath, “In our 24/7 world, I have never once seen someone accidentally keep a Sabbath.”³ If it’s not in your calendar, especially when you’re getting started, it’s never going to happen.

But, what day should the Sabbath be? Believe it or not, this has been an argument within the church for years, and I’m not going to settle it here. In general, though, I find Peter Scazerro’s advice helpful, “The traditional Jewish Sabbath begins at sundown on Friday and ends at sundown on Saturday. In most Christian traditions, Sabbath has been observed on Sunday. The apostle Paul considered one day for sabbath as good as another (Romans 14:1-17). So the particular day of the week doesn’t matter. What matters is to set aside a twenty-four-hour period and protect it.”⁴

For most followers of Jesus, it’s going to be Sunday, but for a variety of reasons it might be Saturday for you—or another day. The day we practice a Sabbath has changed over the years, but in this season of our lives, since we work at a church, we practice Sabbath starting at 5pm on Fridays and end at 5pm on Saturdays.

Figure out what works most consistently for you and your family.

2) Do an “hour of preparation”—if you can’t get a full day.

Some of you are the kinds of people that can relax in a messy house, but most people need to clean up the mess before they can relax. Here’s the thing: The better you prepare for your Sabbath, the more you’ll enjoy your Sabbath. That’s why there has always been “day of preparation” in the Jewish world for doing chores, closing up shop, and getting anything else done that you don’t want to do while you’re trying to rest.

But, if you can’t get a day of preparation, try just an “hour of preparation.”

Set a timer for one hour, turn on some music, and sprint through as many chores as you can on your own or with your family. If it’s helpful, make a chore list with prioritized chores on it (maybe, the more visible ones)—like folding and putting away clothes, doing the dishes, paying the bills, cleaning the bedrooms, vacuuming, or mowing the yard. Sometimes, with our kids, all we can get is a quarter hour of preparation and we’ll turn on dance music while they help clean up.

Photo by Marcelo Leal on Unsplash

You’ll be amazed at what you can get done in a focused hour of preparation but, if you’re waiting until you get to the end of your chore list in order to rest, you’ll never rest. There are always more chores to get done, but Sabbath reminds you don’t need a completely clean house in order to rest.

3) Write up your “to-don’t list” in pencil.

Obviously, the Sabbath is about stopping anything that feels like work. You could think of “work” as anything you “have to do,” which is more than what you’re paid to do.

To help you with that, it’s helpful to write up a “to-don’t list” instead of a to-do list. I’m not sure where I first heard that language (and I couldn’t find it in my book notes), but a “to-don’t list” is all about clarifying what kinds of activities you don’t want to do on a day you’re trying to rest. It will probably be similar to many of the things on your “hour of preparation” chore list, but it will also probably include things like checking your work email, making progress on work-related projects, and opening Slack. (When I was in college, homework was the main thing on my “to-don’t list.”)

The problem, of course, with a “to-don’t list” is that it’s prone toward legalism—restrictive rules that eventually forget the whole point of the “to-don’t list” in the first place. For example, around the time of Jesus, listen to how the “to-don’t list” had grown:

No kneading. No baking. No slaughtering animals. No hammering. No dyeing wool and weaving. No performing strenuous activity. No traveling. No worrying. No earning money. No tying a knot. No plowing. No planting or harvesting. No lighting or extinguishing a fire. No cutting fingernails. No writing more than one letter of the alphabet. No boiling eggs. No putting out a lamp. No getting a haircut an hour before the Sabbath.⁵

These were well-intentioned rules that were trying to honor the Sabbath, but they had also made “not working” on the Sabbath into something that was starting to feel like quite a bit of work just to manage. (Check out the gospel story in Mark 2:23-28 for more on that.)

And, they weren’t alone in that.

As the Sabbath became more widespread under the influence of Christianity, more rules were added. Just look up blue laws for some of these, but one of my favorites is a story that Justo Gonzalez tells in A Short History of Sunday: “In Boston, in 1656, a certain Captain Kemble, just returning from a three-year voyage, was met by his wife at the doorstep of his house, and kissed her. But this happened to be Sunday, and the unfortunate sailor was condemned to two hours of humiliation in the public stocks for his public display of lewdness on the Sabbath!”⁶ You might have PDA on your “to-don’t list,” but it doesn’t need to be on everyone else’s.

While it’s good to have a “to-don’t list,” I suggest writing it in pencil. Be open to the possibility that every once in a while you might need to do something that feels like work in order to “save life,” as Jesus says (Luke 6:9). It’s also okay if your list isn’t the same as someone else’s—because what feels like work to you might not feel like work for someone else. Famously, Eric Liddel chose not to run in competitive races on his Sabbath day, but your Sabbath might be the only day you can get a long run in and you love every second of it. (I am not one of those people.)

4) Bookend your Sabbath with fun traditions.

Without traditions, I’ve found that it’s easy for Sabbath to blend in with the rest of the days of the week. That’s why, in our family, we leverage fun traditions at the beginning of our Sabbath as a way of saying: Sabbath can start now! Kids usually love traditions, and they will remind you of them if you forget. (They’re cute little legalists.) And, you might even have some traditions at the end of your Sabbath to help close it out.

We didn’t have any traditions when we started, but we’ve slowly picked some up over the years (and we don’t always do all of them).

In our family, we start Sabbath on Friday evening and we always kick it off with the same meal. It’s a simple, low-work sourdough pizza recipe that we’ve been using since 2020 (when I “kneaded” something to help me process all my emotions from the week). In general, it’s great to have a feast on your Sabbath when you don’t count calories and linger a bit longer around the table. We will also usually have a big breakfast on Saturday mornings—usually using some sourdough starter for that as well.

Pizza night. Also, paper plates sometimes because no one wants to do dishes.

(If you’re interested, here’s my secret Google Doc with everything I know about sourdough that I share with people when I share some starter.)

Before we start eating pizza, we’ll also light a candle and sing a song. It’s traditional in many families to light a candle on the Sabbath, and we recently added that into our routine (even if our kids always argue about who gets to light it and who gets to blow it out). We also sing a Sabbath song, even when friends are over, that we made up at some point (and our kids are still too young to be embarrassed by it). You might just want to read through Psalm 92 (“a song for the Sabbath day”), but here’s the lyrics for our Sabbath song if you want them:

It’s a Sabbath day
To “play and pray”
What are we going to do today?
We could go on a walk
We could have a long talk
We could go outside and play with chalk
But whatever we do
We’re gonna do it with you
Do-do-do-do-dood-i-ly-do

Finally, as the meal is winding down, we’ll get out our Sabbath Journal that we started a few years ago, ask just two questions, and write down the answers:

1. What are you proud of this week? Like God in Genesis 1-2, we’re teaching our kids to look back over the week and ask, “What did you do this week that was really good?” We also try to notice things that we saw each other do as well. It’s about fostering a holy pride in good work.

2. What are we praying for this week? When we look back over our Sabbath Journal, it’s wild to see how God has answered some hyper-specific prayers as a family and stirred our faith. After we list something out, we’ll pray together.

At the end of Sabbath, I’d love to start a tradition of getting the journal back out for the closing meal and ask a few more questions like, “How did we play today?” and “How did we feast?”

Feel free to adopt and adapt some of those traditions as you come up with your own!

5) Make time for what you normally don’t make time for.

Peter Scazerro calls this making time for “sabbath delight.”⁷

What’s something you don’t need to do but really love to do but don’t ever feel like you have guilt-free time to do? These are the life-giving activities that restore you. Without these, Sabbath can become all about what you can’t do rather than what you get to do.

To help you out, A.J. Swoboda, in his book Subversive Sabbath, encourages people to ask what his family likes to ask, “Is the activity in question life giving or life taking? That is, does it bring us life, rest, hope, wholeness? Or does it drain us, pour us out, stress us, or load us down?”⁸ That question can help you and your family rediscover what gives you life. Another good rule of thumb comes from the oft-quoted saying from Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel: “If you work with your hands, sabbath with your mind. If you work with your mind, sabbath with your hands.” Figure out what those things are for you and what they are for people in your family.

That brings us to hobbies—a lost art. (I recently saw that Substack writer Brianna Lambert has a book coming out called Created to Play, and it’s all about recovering hobbies.) I’ve heard it said that we live in a culture that turns every hobby into a side-hustle, but the Sabbath is an opportunity to have a hobby just for the joy of it.

Play board games. Go for a long drive. Hike outside. Go fishing. Draw. Read a book that isn’t for work or school. Take a long nap. Crochet. Run. Sleep in. Play with your kids. Go play basketball. Get your hands dirty in the garden. Or, do pen and watercolor—like I’ve started doing this year.

And, finally, make time for unhurried space with God—the most life-giving thing you can do. If your Sabbath is on Sundays, do this with the rest of the church. If your Sabbath is a different day, make space to linger in God’s presence in the Bible and prayer.

6) Let your screens rest, too.

In The Tech-Wise Family, Andy Crouch suggests the practice of turning off your devices one day each week, one hour each day, and one week each year.⁹ In particular, he and his family turn off their devices for their Sabbath day. I suggest you try the same.

Log off social media or, even better, delete the apps. Power down your laptops and iPads and put them away. Put all your screens in a box somewhere if you can (and maybe just leave one phone out with “do not disturb” on for emergencies).

A few weeks ago, I got to interview my friend Julian Cisneros, who founded a movement called Analog Sunday that’s helping people step out of the infinite scroll one day each week and back into their lives. He did a talk at our church to equip people to try unplugging on their Sabbath, and he shared that the first time his family tried to keep their phones off for the day, “We lasted thirty minutes.” But, over time, it’s become easier and easier. Now, they can’t imagine Sabbath any other way.

I’ll admit, I’m still weak at this practice. But, on my most recent Sabbath, I tried to keep my phone off from the moment my kids woke up until the moment they went to bed. Let me tell you, I felt different, and I am going to try to do this practice more and more.

Again, though, don’t be a legalist about it. Often, in my family, we’ll watch a movie together after pizza as part of starting our Sabbath. Instead of letting screens isolate us, though, we’re letting a screen bring us together.

7) Find your Sabbath Support Group (SSG)—for recovering workaholics.

It’s always easier to practice Sabbath when you have people in your life—friends and family—who are also committed to practicing it with you on the same day each week as often as possible. It might be your small group, a few friends from church, or a couple other families.

Almost every book I’ve read on Sabbath recommends this.

But, you might be thinking, “People are exactly what exhausts me. I’m with people all week, and on Sabbath I don’t want to be around people. They’re on my ‘to-don’t list.’” I get it. Finding a Sabbath support group doesn’t mean you have to spend your whole day with people, it’s just about finding some folks who can encourage you to rest—even if, no matter how extroverted or introverted you are, it’s good to get a combination of time alone and time with others

It might be helpful to think of a few people who are “restful friends” that are mutually life-giving when you spend time together. Meet up at a park, invite them over to hang out in the backyard, or even just face-time a dear friend who lives far away.

7 Sabbath Resources for Going Deeper

Everything I know about Sabbath, I’ve learned from other people over the years and through experience. Here are a few of my favorite resources that influenced everything I’ve written here:

• Subversive Sabbath (A.J. Swoboda): He’s also on Substack, and this book covers the theological, cultural, and practical aspects of Sabbath.

• The Emotionally Healthy Leader (Peter Scazerro): He’s written a lot on Sabbath as part of an emotionally-healthy life, and there’s a whole chapter in this book about it.

• The Tech-Wise Family (Andy Crouch): This book is about way more than Sabbath, but his chapter on Sabbath is really insightful—especially his breakdown of the difference between rest and leisure.

• Sabbath as Resistance: It’s Walter Brueggemann at his best—doing good biblical theology.

• The Sabbath Practice (John Mark Comer and Practicing the Way): It’s a four-week course on Sabbath that our church is offering right now. I haven’t watched through it yet, but I’ve heard it’s helpful.

• Analog Sunday: Sign up for Julian’s email. It’s full of ways you can go a bit more analog on your Sabbath.

And, if you want, I preached a sermon on it a few weeks ago and you can listen to it here or watch the video below:

A Final Note on Sabbath

As practicing Sabbath grows in popularity, it’s important to remember: Sabbath alone won’t save you. A day of rest, no matter how life-giving it is, isn’t going to give you the life you’re made for. Only Jesus can do that. Without Jesus, a day of rest is nothing more than another life hack that might work for you until something better comes along.

Sabbath, at its best, points you to Jesus—the one who gives you the rest you long for. As Augustine famously said in his memoir (and I wrote a whole book about it), our hearts are restless until they rest in you.

Every Sabbath is an opportunity to be reminded of Jesus’ invitation to you, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30, The Message)

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On a personal note, I’m going on a 12-Week Sabbatical from May 4 - July 26. I’ve been on staff at our church for fourteen years, and I’m in my seventh year as lead pastor.

When I started talking with my kids about sabbatical, one of them said, “Sabbatical sounds a lot like Sabbath. Is it kind of like that—except longer?” “Yes,” I responded, “That’s exactly right.” It’s just an extension of the work and rest culture we have already established as a family.

As part of that sabbatical, I won’t be writing on my Substack for the next twelve weeks. Pray for me and my family if you think about it and, if you want to read more, you can read the letter I wrote to our church here.

1. Peter Scazerro, The Emotionally Healthy Leader.

2. Eugene Peterson, Working the Angles, 74.

3. A.J. Swoboda, Subversive Sabbath, 83.

4. Peter Scazerro, The Emotionally Healthy Leader, 145.

5. I first came across this list in A.J. Swoboda’s Subversive Sabbath, 39.

6. Justo L. Gonzalez, A Short History of Sunday, 138.

7. Peter Scazerro, The Emotionally Healthy Leader.

8. A.J. Swoboda, Subversive Sabbath, 39.

9. Andy Crouch, The Tech-Wise Family, 98.